About the importance of clear communication

I learned a lot about clear communication from salsa dancing. If i would not lead (show what i wanted – clear communication) the woman would just do as she pleased. Only with a strong frame and clear indications of my movements (at the right moment!) the woman would do what I wanted. And even then sometimes not. I realized that mistakes can be a great source of humor and inspiration of becoming conscious of what you are doing. Salsa is clear communication because you feel with direct body contact what the other person wants. Verbal communication is much less clear. What is more is that people often do not speak their mind. And still expect the other to understand them. With salsa, when i don’t indicate a move, nothing happens. It is clear that i am to blame when the lady does not do anything. In some spiritual wisdom traditions it is the goal not to respond at all. ‘If you cannot understand the meaning of life from all what is around you, you are not yet enlightened and hence you are a shitty salsa dancer.’ Also there is the tendency to be too polite to the other when communicating. ‘Excuse me, but you stepped on my foot.’ When this continues to happen, you must become more clear in your communication. As an end result I often repeat behavior of others, just to get my point across. And there are quite some crooked toes out there, I can tell you! When someone fails to understand you, you need to speak up and drop the everyday politeness. But this does not mean that you should disrespect the other. Communication is like a salsa dance. Often a dance starts rusty, but with proper communication there a good chances that it turns into a joyful experience instead of a lot of frustration.

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