Integrating the dark side of the fool

These days I am remembering Paul Hester. The fool of Crowded House. He gave everyone so much laugther and joy. But there is a side of the fool not many people know: the darkness and the sadness which is the source of humour. When the humour itself is gone, the people see the true darkness. It is like a shaven bear. And people would then ask ‘he Paul, please be funny and make another joke’. It is very painfull when the jokes are gone and the sadness remains. Paul Hester could only share with the world half his life: his happy side. And this was probably one of the reasons of his depressions and eventual suicide. I am becoming less and less a fool. Not because the humour has left me, but because I want to be truly funny and not merely a dancing bear entertaining people. Making jokes because I am insecure. I have found that sadness and pain are great treasurehouses of meaningful experiences. But the trick is the balancing of the two. And like a wise rope walker I take the longest stick I can find. I extend myself to both humour and sadness as much as I can. In this way I can keep my balance throught the roughest storms.

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