Investigating the limits of honoring your parents

One of the Ten Commandments is that thou shalt honor thy father and mother.

This is sounds completely logical. Parents often give up all that they have (had) for your wellbeing. They were the ones who stayed up all night in order to take care of you when you were sick. Not honoring your parents would be extremely disrespectful.

But what are the limits of honoring your parents? If you were physically or mentally abused, would you still need to honor your parents? Long term child abuse seems to have such a hidden motivation. They are my parents, they know what’s best, I most likely have deserved this, ect. Everybody agrees that this is sick behavior, but I would say it would come from this commandment from the Bible that you need to honor your parents. No matter what.

Another aspect of honoring your parents is that they always have done their best for you within their capabilities. Nobody is perfect and raising a child is one of the toughest things one can do. When raising a child you start with all the genetical, emotional and social luggage which you have. You will make mistakes. And since children are one of the greatest mirrors on earth: they will shine back every flaw and mistake which you have made.

But does this mean that you cannot address issues with your parents? Of course not. As a child, as a result of evolution or personal development, you will grow most likely to a higher level as your parents were able to grow. When this happens, the direction of the education shifts from parent to child. The child will then need to explain and address the parent what the next step in the joint development is. This is difficult when honoring your parents becomes a blockade in the family development. Not being able to include your parents in your spiritual development, leads to a gap between the two. The relationship becomes empty and based on the status quo of the past.

Currently, I have an issue with my mother. She is a proud woman. But, I feel, she made a mistake in how she treated me. We are out of contact for about 3 months now. I think that my mother suffers from false pride. She is too proud to admin that she has made a mistake. I assume that she thinks that I am being childish for not having any contact with her. But I stick to my principals, because I no longer accept to be called names by my mother.

Now, the thing is, that if I go to my mother and explain that she has an issue with false pride, she does not want to see this. She does not want to grow. It hurts and this is understandable. But in similar situations she has accused me of having no respect for my mother. And this hurts. Because I do not want to be a smartass to my mother. I tell her these things, because in my experience I have learnt the difference between pride and false pride. And I want to share my insight with her, so that we can have an improved and deeper relationship.

Now, I am in the situation that I will no longer share my insights with my mother. As a result, here I am, alone, feeling the limitations of honoring my mother.

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